Free book · 89 pages

A couples guide
to ADHD.

For the one who has it, and the one who doesn't. What's actually happening in an ADHD brain, why it lands the way it does at home, and what to do differently tonight.

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Soft Focus: A Couples Guide to ADHD
Who it's for

Two people. Two very different books,
bound into one.

If you have ADHD

Why it keeps happening, and what helps

  • The gap between meaning it and doing it
  • Why the phone wins, and what to do about it
  • Four small things that survive a bad day
  • Systems instead of apologies
  • The shame underneath all of it
If you're the partner

The half of the picture nobody gives you

  • Why your patience was never infinite
  • How to ask so it actually survives the day
  • Not becoming the parent in your own marriage
  • Burnout, and the spiral underneath it
  • What's genuinely good about this brain
Inside

38 short chapters.
Readable in an evening.

Nothing runs longer than a few pages, because a book about ADHD that demands sustained concentration would be a poor joke.

Before you start
Read this bit, even if you skip the rest
Part One · What's actually happening
A short, honest primer
The gap between meaning it and doing it
Time doesn't work the same way
Interest, not importance
Hyperfocus, and why it confuses everyone
The volume knob is missing
Why small feedback lands like a verdict
The person who comes home isn't the real them either
The boring foundations
Part Two · If you're the one with ADHD
Four small things, every day
Capture it in the ten seconds you've got
Give the day a shape
Systems, not promises
Money, admin and the pile
The shame underneath
Turning towards them, on purpose
Being the fun one isn't enough, and it's not nothing
Part Three · If you're the partner
Your patience was never infinite
How to ask so it survives the day
Don't become the parent
Things you haven't said
Sometimes you'll be wrong too
The first year after a diagnosis
What's actually good
Part Four · Together
One calendar, visible to both
Dividing the house without a spreadsheet
Ten minutes, and one bigger conversation
Repair
Sex, and what gets in the way
When you're parents too
Children, and broken nights
Do something together that isn't admin
Part Five · When it's bad
Burnout, on both sides
The spiral, and what's actually going on in it
If you're thinking about leaving
When you need more than a book
Where this leaves you
Optional

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In the app

Say it, don't type it.

Seven fields is exactly the kind of calendar job that doesn't get done. Soft Focus lets you say "dentist for the kids next Thursday at half nine" and fills the entry — then shows you before it saves.

And there's an app that does it with you.

Daily prompts, a day planner, a shared calendar you can fill by voice, and a channel for the things that are hard to say out loud.

On the App Store and Google Play